Fun fact: That I learned in class..

1) An adult human body has an average of (6 x 10^13) cells. 60, 000, 000, 000, 000. If they are lined up side by side, it goes around the Earth 7.5 times! Imagine that..

2) Cyclops are real. A cellular pathway defect during the development of the embryo can lead to a newborn having only one eye. It’s called holoprosencephaly. These come in different severity. Of course, the picture below shows a gradient of increasing severeness. Quite… shocking.


I would rather believe a lie
than to not believe the truth.

What it means to care

I’ve been taught that people show who they really are in times of anger. I’ve always kept this in mind. It doesn’t matter how friendly they appear on their good days. If they act selfishly and foolishly on their bad days, that is how I will judge and remember them, for that is who they truly are inside. I am generally a forgiving person, but I never forget. If you disappoint me, I will forgive you. But I will never see you the same way. I will distance myself from you. I will draw the line. I will no longer approach you.

What a fail I have been… carrying this mentality throughout my whole life. How wrongly I have been taught. While listening to a song, I was confronted with what it means to care about someone. I needed to see the other side of the coin. As much as how I need to protect myself from people who do me wrong, I should not only love the people who do me right. From the perspective of the deprived, it is in their times of anger, violence, frustrations and hatred that they need their friends to stay by their side and help them overcome it. The more they hurt me, the more I need to “be there” for them. Because I cannot set boundaries when it comes to caring for a friend. I need to carry through. I need to care enough to bear them. When lost, I need to find them. Because we are all only human. Love your enemies? What enemies? I should have called them my friend all along.

If one day I go insane and betray you all, I hope that you will care enough for me to stay.

I was inspired by the ending of the song “Will you be there” by Michael Jackson

In our darkest hour, in my deepest despair
Will you still care? Will you be there?
In my trials and my tribulations
Through our doubts and frustrations
In my violence, in my turbulence
Through my fear, and my confessions
In my anguish and my pain
Through my joy and my sorrow
In the promise of another tomorrow
I’ll never let you part.
For you are always in my heart.


Just when I thought I knew it all, life comes around and changes me completely.
I keep on changing over and over again.
I am constantly renewed and my spirit keeps on cleansing itself.
I never cease to discover the other side of me.
I am endlessly inspired by life, by people, by love.
I can’t wait to continue this journey to embellish, to edit, to craft and shape myself.
I am willing to exchange who I am at any instant for who I want to become.
If this current state of me is in any way unsatisfactory,
Have faith that I will change again.
Forgive me of my past. I am a different person now.
Thank you for changing me.
Thank you for changing the world.

How do you want to…die?

I was taking the bus home with some acquaintances and the subject of death came up. Someone said that she wanted to die in a car accident, and I told her I wanted to die of old age, if not, then of a long, terminal illness. Another guy then proceeded to ask me, “You want to live to very old? ” And I told him, I want to live for as long as I can. Then he said, “You’re going to be all brittle. I don’t want to live until I’m old. I don’t want to be 60. Maybe I’ll want to die around 50”

That was actually quite a shocking response to me. Why are people afraid of growing? And why would one ever dream to terminate ones life before becoming a senior? I think the two most beautiful stages in life lies in childhood and elder-hood. Those two come almost in parallel. The immature vs the mature, the beginning vs end. Yet both so innocent and fragile. The most precious sight is seeing a child holding their grandparent’s hand.

I use to want to die in my sleep, or in a plane crash, or in an explosion. As long as it is quick, painless and unanticipated. I think the fear comes from knowing that you are soon to die, and I would prefer to be spared from such knowledge. But you never know for certain what you really want, or how you will react to something, until you experience it. I’ve been a witness to both a sudden and a bedridden death, and I’ve come to realize how regretful it is to be unaware of your own passing.  Regretful to the loved ones still on Earth, and to the one who is no longer present.

Everyone should be granted the right to say their last words to people they will see for the last time. It is so painful to watch someone leave without saying goodbye; so painful to still have so much to tell them once they’re already gone. And I believe that all those who have died unknowingly would want to have another chance to say the words left unsaid.

One good thing about an illness is it will push me to fight for my life. It will bring families and friends together. It will unite people. Sharing each other’s burden is a big comfort, and such a loving support. It’s about finally cherishing what I’ve so much taken for granted. I hope I won’t give into death so easily. Life is the only thing I’ve ever had. And if I lose the battle, then God has chosen a time, and at least I will say my last words, and hear the last words being said to me. Gosh, I just can’t imagine how many ‘thanks’ and ‘sorries’ and ‘I love yous” I would need and desperately want to say. I should start saying them at every opportunity… let people know how much they mean to me before it’s too late…

I want to die of old age. To be able to go through adulthood, learn all that life has to offer me, and then sit back and rest. I want to share my experiences with the younger generation, share some advice, and tell them that in the end, all struggles are worth it. Whether or not I will still have a memory, whether or not I could still walk or eat by myself, I think at that stage in life, death comes at the right moment, and it comes very peacefully. When I’m on my bed, all wrinkled and frail, hopefully surrounded by families and friends, I will think to myself, “It’s time for me to go. I’m ready.”


If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.

Haiti: Jan. 12, 2010
Chile: Feb. 27, 2010
Taiwan: Mar. 4, 2010

My heart goes out to all the countries and families whom are in devastation.

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