Hell is other people?

I need my time alone. To be with myself. To express to myself.
But now I’m stuck in my own escape.

My heart has been so heavy. Can you help me, please?
I need to pull myself out.


The people who make me who I am

Well… I was going to write up a post of “who I want to meet”… but Bronson beat me to it. However, I will do it anyway, but of the people who have changed me, or sculpted me, because it helps me straighten out my thoughts. Sometimes I think so much that I start to contradict myself and it gets really messy in my head. Writing things down allows me to clear up and make some space again.

These are essentially the people who make me who I am up to date, in chronological order. Well everyone I meet has an impact on me one way or another, but here is the bulk of them. The way I think, the way I see life, is largely due to them.

Jesus Christ

My brother and I were discussing how we couldn’t imagine someone who wouldn’t want to meet Jesus, regardless of if they believe he was God or not. Surely, this man did exist in history, and if I was in the place of a non-believer, I would still want to meet this man to find out how his name got carried so far down the line. I don’t think I need to say more. He is my foundation in which I build my whole life upon. It doesn’t matter where I end up after death, I just strive to be Christ-like because to me, this matters most.

Mother and Father

My parents, as I’m sure are most parents, are wonderful. They taught me so much and they still continue to. I can’t express how much I look up to them and I am marveled at the things they have dealt with in the past. All I see when I look at them is forgiveness and overcoming life’s battles. I just wish that one day, I will be as strong as them. They have left me in admiration in a way they will never know.

Anne Frank

“Despite everything, I still believe people are really good at heart.”
I have read many quotes throughout my lifetime, and none have struck me more than this one. It’s not just the words, but you have to put it into context. A young teenage girl, in the mist of the darkest time in history, having to hide out and watch her fellow Jews shot to death on the streets, having to have died in a concentration camp, but never once losing hope that the people behind all this, are still good. If she truly believes that, how can I not? The Holocaust is a fascinating time. Humanity at its worst, yet humanity at its best. It sends such a strong, hopeful energy through me every time I read this quote, I can’t begin to explain. 

Mahatma Gandhi

Oops. How could I forget the ever so great Gandhi? I think the majority of my persuasive essays throughout high school were based on his quotes. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. // You must be the change you want to see in the world // etc, etc..” I love his story. Gandhi, in his teenage years betrayed himself and his family by eating meat, stealing from others and smoking. When his father became ill, he felt great remorse and confessed to his father in a letter everything he had done wrong. His father forgave him, never blamed him for it, then he soon passed away. Gandhi settled to be a truthful man, for it was not the punishment that taught him to change, but forgiveness. And look at the man that came out of it. Gandhi certainly influenced me tremendously in high school.

Charles Darwin

The master of evolution. This theory is still one of the most beautiful theories I’ve learned. From the second I came to understand it, life became so beautiful. I look around and I think what a miracle. I will always be a defender of evolution. Yes, it is random, but no, it did not happen over night. It took literally forever, constant trials and errors, so much patience, countless events of success and failures, to have come to this point. Species have lived and died, and it just keeps on going. Sometimes improving, other times not. It isn’t perfect. But the level of complexity, the level of coordination is just mind blowing. Through this, and oddly enough, I was able to build up my own perception of God and has helped me keep my faith. I really hope God used this method of creation, because nothing else makes this universe more precious. Because of Charles Darwin and his theory, I can’t see life anything short of miraculous.

Reverend Terren Gum

Haha. No one has captured my attention so strongly as he has in every single service, Bible study, Sunday school…just everything he talks about! If it weren’t for his humbleness, his genuine messages… I wouldn’t have been around for so long. I have not encountered another Pastor so true to himself, to others, to us. So down to Earth. No exaggerations, no arrogance, never fake. When he admits that he doesn’t know why God would create a hell, or wipe out cities, or allow so much injustice, it only strengthens my faith, If there isn’t an answer, he won’t make one up. He doesn’t take advantage of God’s name to answer everything. I love that about him, it’s an admirable trait. I am easily repulsed, but he only invites me in. Thank you Gum Gum.

Michael Jackson

I think everyone knows how I feel about him by now. It takes a lot to change my mind about someone, and if you can have me disgusted at you one second, and be entirely obsessed the next, you must be quite something! Through his success, his performances, his dances, his lyrics, his joy, his trials, his pain… it has only taught me one thing: that is to see the world through the eyes of children. To live with a child’s heart. He had the urgency to heal the world. All his songs had only one message: if we all try to make this world a better place, it will be. This has been the biggest “slap in the face” from myself in a long, long time. How can someone with so much inner struggle and loneliness, deliver so much love and care to change lives, become the King of Pop, and yet be so naive to trust the cruel world? I wish I could understand him.


I just wanted to tell you this:

Keep your spirits up.
Keep your head held high.
Keep the faith.
Keep laughing.

Keep hoping.
Keep praying.
Keep believing.
Believe in miracles.
Believe in the best outcome.
Believe in healing.
You have to.