I noticed it’s been some time I haven’t written a real thought-out entry. Last year, I was thinking about my eventual career after my University degree, but I was too confused to figure out what I wanted to say. Tonight, after reading a blog from Anna concerning our decisions for our future, I was inspired again. So I decided to write a reply:
Being a little girl, my vision of what I wanted to pursue has always revolved around one thing: the arts. I remember taking the initiative in asking my mom if I could learn piano at the age of 4. The next thing I knew, I stood aside, looking on as my first piano came rolling through the front door. And that became the seed that sprouted many teenage dreams. I went through phases of wanting to become a celebrity, a songwriter, a singer, an author, a musician and an artist. Believe it or not, I wrote and recorded (on those ghetto tape recorder back in the days lol) several songs. I also used to write short stories and Fanfics online. Of course, I’m very much ashamed of them as I grew into reality. Slowly, my passion for “arts” dropped one by one, and it never did really become a passion, but remained a hobby. I quit piano, my only solid pride, at secondary 4. Having been so close to obtaining my certificate, I think I somewhat regret it to this day. Anyway, I digress….
In elementary school, the one class I detested was Science! It was horrible, I had no interest, I understood nothing, and I cheated off friends to pass my tests. I told myself and my family that I would never become a scientist and I would have nothing to do with biology and medicine (the irony…). I never gave my professional career much thought until Secondary 3, when I was introduced to Anatomy. It was unexpectedly like love at first sight. From there on, I never turned away from this target and just last month, I got my degree in Anatomy and Cell Biology. Well, now what? I still don’t know. Although I really love what I study, I still don’t know where I want to take this life. The only reason I’m applying to Masters is because I still don’t know what I want. And what better thing to do in hesitation than to open more doors? I’ve talked to a lot of people in my field, and unless they aim for Med school or the likes, everyone just doesn’t know what we can do with our undergrad. If we hate research, there aren’t many choices out there for us to make a living off of.
I don’t regret what I’ve chosen, but it makes me wonder why we are forced to commit to one path so early in life. I wonder how many students really know what they want at the age of 16-17, when even at 22, I am still confused. For me, since Secondary 4, we were already given a choice to study Chemistry or Economics, and that would determine what we can enter in Cegep, and that would lead to University. Although it’s never too late to turn around and change fields, many people prefer not to fall behind their peers. I think a lot of students just suck up to what they’re stuck with for the sake of keeping up with the world. Society imposes so much emphasis on salary and profit and the market that everyone is pushed towards that goal. Myself included. I’m slowly learning that everything is a business, and all about gain. Whether it’s a company, hospitals, sports leagues, or even churches.
But I believe that everything turns out fine in the end. One thing will lead to another and with the support of people who care, we’ll survive fine. I worry about my future a lot and sometimes I can’t see how I’m going to step out into the world. I grew up in my comfort zone. In my mind, it’s a big leap to the other side, like a sudden transition. But here’s a quote that I always remind myself of; that it’s not going to be scary if we take it as it comes.