As I stated in my previous post about quotes, I will start reviewing some featured quotes in my room to share the enlightenment, instead of doing what I’ve been doing all these years – which was hiding them in my room. In person, I don’t usually share my thinking until prompted, and as a consequence, I notice that very few people actually know me. And because all my thoughts are kept as thoughts and never spoken, I confuse myself with who I am sometimes. This is why I blog; to turn my thoughts into something concrete for myself — and now for you as well. Let’s get into the first quote I chose:
You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him. – Audrey Hepburn
This quote is one of the most active ones in my library. By that, I mean it is one of those quotes that I have to actively remind myself everyday. I use to gossip a lot as a teenager and talk down on people, and I openly took pride in it. I used to believe that gossiping was healthy because it unconsciously reaffirms all the attributes in another person that I didn’t want to be. Through gossiping, I could receive the satisfaction of putting someone down and simultaneously build myself up. However, what I failed to recognize was that everything I say directly reflects back on me. How I describe someone else gives more credibility about what kind of person I am than it does with the person I’m talking about. The words I choose to say is a clear mirror of my character. The more I put someone down for the sake of raising myself above them, the more I reveal through my words my own ugliness, insecurities and shame. On the other hand, someone who only talks well of others is evidence of their kindness and their ability to see and appreciate the better side of people more than the bad. This brings to another quote that basically says the same thing:
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said. – Peter F. Drucker
Hearing someone speak is not all about what they are saying out loud. There is a stronger message behind what they are keeping to themselves and this message also needs to be heard. People who never speak unfavorably of others may not necessarily mean they never think it. It merely suggests that they are actively filtering what comes out of their mouth. In my opinion, that is an extremely admirable trait that is worth acknowledging.